Listen to a reading of Lulu’s story.
What happened?
Lulu recently joined her school’s debate team, and yesterday was their first competition. After their success, one of her teammates tweeted a photo of the team smiling together. Last night, Lulu retweeted the photo, adding a caption of her own: “So excited to be on the team!”
Lulu thought she was best at soccer, but one of her friends, Sarah, had encouraged her to join the debate team too. Lulu accepted because she wanted to feel smart. She was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia two years ago, but it had always been difficult for her in class and at home.
When she struggled with schoolwork, sometimes her parents grew frustrated and impatient with Lulu, making her feel judged and invalidated. It was also easy for her to feel overshadowed by her brilliant older sister, Valeria.
Lulu’s abuela, who lived with her family, was an immigrant from Peru, and Lulu didn’t want to disappoint her either. She knew her parents and abuela had high expectations for her and Valeria. Nevertheless, she loved her family and enjoyed spending time with them, even if they didn’t always understand her.
Lulu still loved soccer and was great at the sport, but she hoped doing well on the debate team would make her family and herself proud. So far, she was happy with her progress, and eager to be a part of an academic club.
The next day at school, still smiling optimistically, Lulu bounded over to Sarah in homeroom.
“What’s up?” she asked. Sarah didn’t answer at first. She seemed preoccupied with something on her phone.
“Hey. Sorry,” Sarah said, finally meeting her eye. Lulu frowned.
“What is it?” she asked, the smile fading from her face.
Sarah replied gravely, “I think there’s something you should see.”
Lulu felt a nervous jolt in her stomach as she leaned over Sarah’s shoulder, watching her scroll through a Snapchat group she recognized was full of fellow debate team members. At the top of the chat was a screenshot of Lulu’s tweet from just last night.
“Wait, is this the debate team chat?” she asked her friend. “But I’m not in this.” Lulu pulled out her phone to confirm.
“You weren’t added to the chat,” Sarah explained hesitantly.
She handed over her phone, and as Lulu read the messages, it was quickly obvious why she was excluded: the conversation was all about Lulu.
Before she or Sarah could say more, their teacher called for quiet and began class, but Lulu couldn’t focus on the lesson. Her mind was reverberating with echoes of all the words said about her in the chat: “Lulu isn’t smart enough to join the debate team,” “She was so annoying last practice,” “Why doesn’t she just stick to soccer?”
Lulu’s palms grew slick with sweat, and she clenched them tightly in her lap. She felt anger simmering in her chest the rest of the day at school.
What did Lulu do?
After school, Lulu couldn’t focus well during soccer practice either. She couldn’t get the ball where she aimed and tripped over her feet twice.
When practice ended, Lulu took a seat on the bench as the rest of her teammates packed up their things.
“You coming?” Sarah asked.
“Yeah, I’ll catch up,” she replied blankly.
Lulu remained on the bench, frustration swelling into a headache. After a moment, she saw her coach, Mr. Alvarez, finish collecting the stray soccer balls and walk over to her.
“What was going on with you today, Lulu?” he asked gently. “Where’s your head at?”
She liked Mr. Alvarez. He was the only Latinx teacher at her school, but he was also genuinely nice and often checked in with his players. Today, though, Lulu was reluctant to chat even with her favorite teacher. She could still feel the lingering anger in her chest, an ugly, fiery pulse.
“Sorry, Coach,” she answered, releasing a deep breath.
“It’s just one practice, Lulu,” he said calmly. “But if there’s something going on, or if you need to talk, I’m here for you.” He sat down on a neighboring bench, waiting patiently for her to respond.
A quiet moment passed as Lulu reflected on how she felt. Her anger had turned to disappointment and betrayal. Sarah might not have said anything bad about her in the group chat, but she hadn’t defended Lulu against those negative comments either. Lulu was disheartened her friend hadn’t stuck up for her, and she felt lonely without Sarah’s support.
But seeing Mr. Alvarez’s concern reassured Lulu he cared about her. She still felt her teammates’ words weighing on her. She was too upset to talk to Sarah about it yet, so she thought her coach could give her some much-needed advice.
“Actually, there is something bothering me today,” she began. Lulu explained how she found out her teammates were secretly mocking and laughing at her.
“That sounds like a tough spot to be in,” Mr. Alvarez said when she concluded. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”
Lulu nodded in response to his sympathy.
“I want you to know you have options for dealing with this,” Mr. Alvarez said. He explained Lulu could report the incident or speak with the debate team advisor. He also suggested talking to Sarah to tell her how she felt.
After their conversation, Lulu thanked her coach and headed inside to grab her things. She decided she would talk to Sarah tomorrow after school. Lulu hoped her friend would understand she was hurt. She would ask her to be more supportive and reach out for help in the future.
Lulu would also consider mentioning the issue to her debate team advisor as well, perhaps with Sarah’s help. She wanted her privacy to be protected, but she also wanted to feel welcome and safe on the debate team, and she was optimistic her teacher could help.
For now, though, Lulu wanted to de-stress and spend time with her family before these conversations. Heading home, her mouth was watering, picturing the delicious empanadas she wanted to make tonight with her mamá, abuela, and Valeria.
Written by Lauren Myers
Want to try the skills Lulu used?
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Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.