What happened?
Ariel opened her phone for the tenth time in a row and closed it again. She didn’t want to open the messages she knew were waiting in her Instagram DMs and on Snapchat. She was happy to be out as trans, to be living as herself for the first time, but the way some people at school had reacted wasn’t something she had fully expected. Being out as bisexual hadn’t been this bad, but as soon as she had started presenting like a girl and telling people her name and pronouns, it was like something had shifted.
Now, there was a consistent stream of mean comments and weird, invasive questions from people she had previously talked with as friends or acquaintances. She still had some friends, thankfully, but even they had been a little more distant from her while in school. They probably didn’t want to be associated with her anymore, and she couldn’t entirely blame them. She wouldn’t want to receive those side glances and snide remarks too.
Plus, her crush, who had seemed to like her before she came out, no longer joked with her in class or chatted with her in between classes. He wouldn’t even look at her when they passed each other in the hall, which felt like a stabbing pain in her stomach.
She wanted to talk about this, but she didn’t want to burden anyone with her problems. Her mom had been so supportive about everything, had immediately accepted her as her daughter and taken her shopping for new clothes. She had talked to the principal for Ariel about changing her name on her school documents and making sure she could use the women’s bathroom. It wouldn’t be fair, Ariel thought, to ask her to listen to her complain about this on top of everything she had already done for her.
What did she do?
Her mom had made her favorite meal, but Ariel just stared at the plate, moving the food around with her fork. Her mom looked at her concernedly.
“Is everything okay?”
Ariel nodded, and tried to say, “Yeah, it’s fine,” but her voice caught in her throat. Tears stung at the back of her eyes, blurring her mom’s kind face. She couldn’t help it; everything rushed out of her at once. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“Oh, sweetheart. Why didn’t you tell me about it before?”
“I didn’t want to burden you.”
Her mom pulled her in for a hug. “You could never be a burden; I promise.”
Ariel explained what had been going on, while her mom simply listened.
“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Let’s talk through some options for you, and then we can go get ice cream, okay? Maybe get your mind off it.”
They talked about everything, and Ariel decided to delete Snapchat and Instagram for the time being. She also decided to text some of her friends, realizing she had been isolating herself as well since coming out, and maybe if she told them how much she needed their support right now, she wouldn’t feel so alone in school.
She was glad her mom still cared about her, that she wanted to hear about these problems, that she wasn’t going to cross a certain point where she stopped being accepting just because it was hard sometimes. She was safe with her mom by her side.
Written by Sam Kirschman
Narration by zenngym2
Want to try the skills Ariel used?
Receiving support from a parent video
Trevor Project’s coming out handbook
Trevor Project: Navigating crushes
Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or contact the Trevor Project, a crisis hotline specifically for LGBTQ youth, by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting START to 678-678.