Listen to a reading of Joshua’s story.
What happened?
Joshua was in Mr. Teagan’s math class when he had to use the bathroom.
“May I use the bathroom, Mr. Teagan?” Joshua asked with his hand raised.
“Of course! Make sure you take the hall pass with you on the way out,” Mr. Teagan replied.
Joshua was very glad and surprised that his teacher didn’t say no as he knew that Mr. Teagan sometimes can be annoyed when someone leaves while he’s teaching. He stood up from his desk, grabbed the hall pass, and went to the bathroom down the hall.
As he reached the bathroom door, he heard a group of voices that sounded familiar. He opened the door and saw a few boys he knew — Devin, Ethan, and Jason.
“Hey, Josh,” Jason said.
“Hey!” he responded back.
After Josh finished, he went to the sink to wash his hands before he left the bathroom.
“What are you guys doing?” he asked.
“We’re skipping lunch. We just didn’t want to be in there,” Ethan said.
“Yeah, it was really boring, so we decided to come in here and hit Jason’s vape. Want to join us?” Devin asked.
Joshua stood there confused and a bit shocked that his friends asked him if he wanted to try vaping. He thought to himself that he was missing an important class and that they were very shameless for vaping at school.
“Sorry, I can’t. You guys know I don’t smoke. Plus, I have to get back to math class. You guys know how Mr. Teagan gets,” Joshua said.
“Man, Mr. Teagan does too much anyway. Forget his class. C’mon Josh, don’t be a wimp. Just take a little hit. It won’t hurt,” Devin said laughing.
Joshua felt the spotlight on him as the three other boys looked at him waiting for his response.
“I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me to vape. I’m sorry, but I need to get back to class. I’ll see you guys later,” Joshua said before he walked out of the bathroom.
Joshua felt his chest tighten. He felt uncomfortable that Devin peer pressured him to smoke. After all, smoke was one of Joshua’s triggers for his asthma.
Joshua came back a few minutes later than he thought, which resulted in Mr. Teagan keeping him after class to scold him for taking too long in the bathroom. Josh explained the situation that happened in the bathroom to his teacher so he wouldn’t be in trouble and lose his bathroom privileges.
He went on about his day and went home. He ate dinner and finished his homework. Once he was ready to go to bed, he opened his phone to check his social media and saw he was tagged in a new Instagram post.
Joshua’s eyes went wide at what he saw. The post was a picture of him on Devin’s Instagram with a caption calling him a snitch. Devin said how he was grounded since his mom got a call from the school about him vaping. He knew Joshua had to be the person who told on him and the other boys.
Joshua sat there as he was tagged in the comments as Devin and his friends called him a snitch and other comments that hurt his feelings and made him feel like he wasn’t trustworthy. He was upset that someone he started to consider as a friend would switch up their actions towards him like that.
What did he do?
The next afternoon, Joshua sat at the lunch table during his lunch period with his best friends, Anna and Kevin, but they could tell he was zoned out.
“Hey Josh, are you okay?” Anna asked.
“I’m okay, just thinking about something,” he said.
“Yeah, we can tell. We’ve been talking about the new Fortnite updates and you haven’t chimed in once. What happened?” Kevin said.
Joshua knew that his best friends could tell when he wasn’t himself. They noticed he didn’t speak when they talked about Joshua’s favorite game, Fortnite. He knew he could trust his best friends. They always helped him out whenever he needed it. He explained the situation to them while looking down at his plate.
“Josh, that wasn’t fair to you at all, I’m truly sorry,” Kevin said.
“Yeah, those boys were breaking the rules and tried to bring you in too. I think you should tell Ms. Stuart. She always knows what to do and has helped you before,” Anna said.
Joshua thought about Anna’s suggestion. Ms. Stuart was the guidance counselor and she had helped Joshua with everything — SAT prep, college fairs, and student council. He trusted her as she had advice whenever he felt worried about his grades or the crushes he had in the past. He knew he could trust Ms. Stuart to tell her about how he felt with his friends. He got up from the lunch table and walked to her office down the hall.
“Hi, Ms. Stuart…can I talk to you?” Joshua asked.
“Hi, Josh! How are you? Is everything okay?” Ms. Stuart asked.
Joshua walked into the room and sat in the chair across from her desk. He explained everything that happened yesterday to her. She nodded her head as he kept talking.
“I’m sorry, Joshua, that they made you feel like that. Don’t blame yourself. You did the right thing. I want you to know everything you say is confidential, although I will have to report this incident to the vice principal and principal. Reports like this are always kept private, meaning your name won’t be brought up with other students,” she let him know.
Joshua had a feeling the principal and vice principal would have to find out since it’s her job to report it. He felt scared going to the principal first to talk to him as Mr. Frederick can be quite intimidating. Yet with Ms. Stuart’s reassurance, he felt that they would find a solution to his situation. That made him feel at ease that those three had and will always have Joshua’s best interest at heart.
Written by Ashanti Mclaurin
Want to try the skills that Joshua used?
How to Talk to a School Counselor
Snitching vs. Reporting: The Right Reasons to “Tell on” Someone