Listen to a reading of Kai and Hannah’s story.
What happened?
Lately, Kai’s noticed that his friend, Hannah, has been more distant and anxious. A few days ago, they were working on homework together after school, but Hannah kept getting distracted checking her phone’s notifications.
“Is something wrong?” Kai asked.
“Uh, no. Sorry.” Hannah shook her head, her cheeks growing red as she slid her phone into her backpack.
They continued working but Kai couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering her.
At school the following day, Hannah was quieter than usual and didn’t join in the conversation with their friends during lunch. Then, after school, Hannah declined Kai’s invitation to play video games at his house.
Kai went home that evening unsure what to say to his friend. He was undoubtedly concerned for her but didn’t know how to talk to her without making her feel uncomfortable.
What did he do?
The next day, Kai met Hannah while waiting for his dad to pick them up from school. Immediately, he noticed she was upset and could see tears welling in her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” he asked her urgently. She was looking down at her phone. Although Hannah had denied anything was wrong the past few days, it was hard to ignore her friend’s question this time.
“There are some people in our class who are spreading rumors about me.” Hannah answered hesitantly.
Kai was confused but he also didn’t want to make her more upset.
“Do you want to come over and we can talk about it at my house?” he suggested.
Hannah agreed, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. Back at Kai’s house, he asked his friend if she was ready to share what was bothering her.
“Well, you know how my parents don’t know I have Snapchat because they don’t approve of it?” Hannah began.
Kai nodded, remembering when Hannah downloaded Snapchat against her parents’ rule.
“I found out that people have spread rumors about me over Snapchat. Everyone is saying I’m a lesbian.” Tears began to streak down Hannah’s face.
Kai knew Hannah was struggling with her sexuality but hadn’t come out to anyone officially yet. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing but hated seeing Hannah so upset. I guess it’s better to let her know I’m here for her than to say nothing at all, Kai thought to himself. So that’s exactly what he said.
“I’m really sorry, Hannah,” he replied. “You can talk to me about it.”
“I guess I’ve been feeling helpless.” Hannah sniffled, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve. “I’m not even sure I’m gay but now everyone thinks I am. My parents would be so mad if they found out.”
“I understand,” Kai said gently. “You don’t have to come out until you’re ready. Your sexuality is your choice to make.”
“Yeah, I just need some time to figure it out I think.”
“Of course, and that’s okay,” Kai answered. “Thanks for sharing that with me. I’ve been worried about you.”
Hannah smiled at her friend’s concerned expression.
“Thanks, Kai,” she said. The knot of anxiety still twisted stubbornly in Hannah’s stomach, but she felt relief confiding in Kai. She took a few more calming breaths with him.
“What do you want to do about it?” Kai asked. “We can report it to a teacher or the principal if you want,” he suggested. “I’d be happy to go with you.”
“I don’t want to get in trouble though,” Hannah said. “I don’t know what to do.”
“That makes sense.” Kai paused to think. He wanted to help his friend, but unsure how, he thought a distraction could give her time to destress before trying to solve the problem.
“Sometimes it’s best to take your mind off things first. Do you want to relax for a bit?” he proposed. “I’ll ask my dad to order us a pizza and we can watch your favorite anime show.”
“That actually sounds really nice.” They both smiled.
Together, they spent the evening lounging on the couch with snacks, both of their phones stashed away in Kai’s room for a while. Taking a break from Snapchat for a few hours and spending quality time with her friend lifted Hannah’s mood.
Later that evening, Kai asked her if it would be okay to bring up the issue with his dad. Hannah had always thought Kai’s dad, Mr. Zhao, was approachable and kind, so she agreed. Mr. Zhao reassured her too.
“Who you are and who you’re attracted to is your business, Hannah, and it shouldn’t be an object of rumors,” he said. “If you ever have thoughts about that and don’t want to talk to your parents, you can come to me. There’s no pressure, but I’m here to listen.”
Hannah was grateful for Mr. Zhao’s kindness. He even offered to speak with the school’s guidance counselor, but only if she wanted him to.
“Kai’s older brother experienced a similar situation a couple years ago,” he added.
“Really?” Hannah asked.
“Yeah, Parker and I spoke to the guidance counselor about some online bullying. She was understanding and worked collaboratively with us to find solutions for the conflicts he was facing at school. We also found a therapist to help Parker process everything,” Mr. Zhao explained. He walked Hannah through what would happen if she came forward and assured her they would do what they could to maintain her privacy. He listened to her concerns about her parents discovering the situation too.
Hannah realized reporting the incident might only be the first step, but it felt like an important one right now. With support from her friend and his dad, she didn’t feel so overwhelmed to take that first step. Together, they devised a plan to talk to the guidance counselor the following day after school. She expected her guidance counselor to investigate what happened and provide her with resources for support.
After their conversation with his dad, Kai checked in with Hannah again.
“I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this on your own,” he said. “I want you to know I’m always here for you.”
“Thanks, Kai,” Hannah said gratefully.
Climbing into bed that night, Kai felt relieved he’d been able to help Hannah. He was no longer quite so afraid of not knowing what to say, because he realized that sometimes it made a real difference listening and telling his friend he cared.
By Lauren Myers
Want to try the skills Kai used?
Supporting a Friend Going Through a Tough Time
Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or contact the Trevor Project, a crisis hotline specifically for LGBTQ youth, by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting START to 678-678.