Listen to a reading of Nia’s story.
What happened?
School just ended and Nia ran out the door, elated that it was the start of her weekend — Friday. She planned to hang out with her friends later that evening. She was headed to her friend Amaya’s sweet sixteen. Nia moved from her small town to a big city four months ago when her mom got a new job offer. She was starting to make new friends again this year. Amaya is one of the popular kids at her school which is why she was super excited to be invited to her party. She decided to create a get ready with me TikTok to document her preparations for the party.
Nia got off the school bus and ran straight to her closet to pick out her outfit. As she was picking out clothes, she connected her phone to the Bluetooth excitedly and played her favorite songs. She filmed what make-up products she uses and talked to her followers to connect with them like her other favorite influencers do. As she finished her makeup routine, she finally settled on her outfit.
She picked out a pink crop top and matching headband with jeans shorts and white tennis shoes. A very simple outfit, but she loved how the pink complimented her skin tone. She ended the get ready with me with a video of her outfit and posted it on her TikTok for all of her friends and followers to see.
Once she posted the TikTok, her mom dropped her off at Amaya’s party. She danced for a while and had a great time with her friends. As she sat to take a break from dancing, she opened TikTok to see she had more views than usual on her video from earlier.
She was thrilled as her beginnings of being an influencer were rising, but when Nia opened the comments and read what she saw, she felt her beginnings were short-lived.
Comments under the video made fun of her body shape and size. Nia was always a bit self-conscious of her body as she was curvier than the girls she hung out with. The comments did not help with how she felt. People made jokes about her stomach poking out of her crop top and over her belt buckle and another person commented on how thick her legs and arms were.
What did she do?
Her friends asked her what was wrong, but she was hesitant to tell them as she was still getting to know them. Nia was bummed. She called her mom and asked her to pick her up early from the party. She was sitting outside when her mom pulled into the driveway of Amaya’s house.
“What’s wrong?” her mom asked, confused.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nia responded, sniffling back tears. Nia was unsure about telling her mom what happened.
At her old school, she was severely made fun of about her body. She had to tell her mom all about that after reporting what happened to her teachers and principal. Just as those comments slowed down, her mom informed her that she would be transferring schools because of her mom’s new job offer. She was excited to leave those people in the past behind her and start fresh by making new friends and memories. Now it was all happening again, and she didn’t want her mom to worry about her as she did before.
Nia changed out of her party clothes into pajamas and stayed in bed, saddened still by the TikTok comments. She didn’t want to tell anyone at school because she was afraid they would judge her. Some had already agreed with the comments left under her video. She wanted to find someone who wouldn’t judge her and could help her sort out how she was feeling sad, frustrated, and down about her body.
She unlocked her phone, went to her contacts list, and saw her therapist’s name, Dr. Williams. Nia stopped seeing Dr. Williams in person after she moved, but continued weekly sessions through Zoom. Dr. Williams had been really helpful when Nia talked to her about problems she had in school in the past. She reassured Nia that if she ever needed to talk to her she could always call her. Nia thought Dr. Williams was someone who understood the struggles she went through as Dr. Williams looked like her — Black and curvy.
She logged off of TikTok for the rest of the night and decided to call Dr. Williams the next morning. After a few rings, Dr. Williams answered.
“Hi Nia, how are you? Is everything okay?” Dr. Williams asked.
“Hi Dr. Williams, sorry for calling you so early in the morning,” Nia responded.
“Don’t apologize, I don’t mind. Let me know what’s going on,” Dr. Williams said.
Nia explained everything that happened from her waking up yesterday morning to how she was feeling now. Dr. Williams let Nia get everything off her chest and how she was feeling. Dr. Williams reassured Nia that her body is beautiful and always has been and that she can understand as she was a curvier woman herself. After a long conversation with Dr. Williams, Nia felt encouraged to take matters into her own hands to deal with the situation.
She decided to private her account for a day or two so no one else would be able to interact with the video. The next morning, she decided to do something that she enjoyed in her free time to clear her mind. She decided to paint which she has always really enjoyed. She painted a picture of her favorite television character — by the time she went to bed, she was able to go to sleep without crying as much. Then she went on a walk to a local park, admiring the scenery. Feeling inspired, she grabbed a sketchbook and allowed herself to be lost in the nature around her.
After taking a break from social media for a couple of days, Nia logged back into TikTok. Following Dr. Williams advice, she decided to block and report the people who said hurtful comments about her. As she combed through her comments to do that, she noticed the comments about her body had slowed down. She noticed the positive comments that defended her while she was inactive. She noticed the comments that reassured her that she is beautiful regardless of what other people say which made her smile for the rest of the day.
By Ashanti Mclaurin
Want to try the skills Nia used?
Psychology Today Treatment Locator
A Guide for Positive Body Image
Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. For Black and Brown youth and LGBTQ+ youth of color, call or text 800-604-5841 to reach Call BlackLine.