Listen to a reading of Rosa’s story.
What happened?
Rosa was a freshman in high school when her older sister caught her trying on girls’ clothes. Her sister made an Instagram post mocking her, and within just a few hours, word spread throughout their small town that Rosa was a transgender girl. Rosa had very few friends to begin with, and her popular sister’s mockery of her just made that worse.
The biting comments, the glares at school and on the street, the slurs and fists hurled at her — they brought Rosa to tears. She shut herself in her room and sobbed, unable to face her family. The worst of it, though, was not all that harassment. The worst of it came from her longtime friend, Tristan.
She had very few friends to begin with, but she and Tristan were always inseparable. They had talked before about LGBTQ+ issues, and Tristan implied he was supportive. Rosa held out hope that, even if her community’s hatred was hard to handle, her best friend would stay by her side.
Tristan sent her a text a few hours after the Instagram post that outed her. Hey, I saw the post. Not sure what to make of it. What name do you wanna go by now?
At first, Rosa got her hopes up: he wasn’t being hateful, not yet. She responded. I really like the name Rosa.
Ok. This was all she got from him before, days later, when she was worn down by everything, he sent the message she couldn’t stop reading over and over. Look, I still don’t know what to make of all this. People have been asking me about you. They’re making fun of me. And I don’t think this is right for you. So I can’t talk to you anymore unless you stop this transgender stuff. Stop.
What did she do?
In her despair, Rosa could not think of a single person in town who would listen to her crying. Of course, people like that did exist – some teachers and peers at school seemed supportive, in her experience – but, understandably, she did not trust them fully in that moment, since Martin had broken her trust so thoroughly. She’d heard, though, of crisis hotlines for LGBTQ+ people, which would be supportive without a doubt. She searched up the phone number for one and, with trembling hands, placed a call.
The man on the other end greeted her, introduced himself as Matthew, and asked her for her name (to which she hesitated a bit), her age, and where she lived. He had the lisp she had come to think of as stereotypically gay, yet he spoke clearly and proudly with it. “Thank you for calling, Rosa. That’s very brave of you. What’s going on today? What would you like to tell me about?”
Once she told Matthew of her best friend’s hurtful words, he sighed. “That’s so awful, Rosa. So, so awful. I’m sorry. I know it’s hard, when a friend chooses to be so mean.”
Again, tears welled in her eyes. “I feel like he’s right. I need to stop. I just… wish I’d never tried on those girl clothes. I wish I could stop thinking about being a girl. Everyone hates me now.”
“I can tell you’re having a hard time, and I understand. That happens sometimes in small towns.” His tone became more firm, not to be harsh, but to be clear and confident. With the way he spoke, she almost started believing him. “But that’s not your fault, Rosa. The world is so hateful sometimes. All you want is to be yourself. There’s nothing wrong at all with wearing skirts or trying on makeup. Nothing wrong at all, I mean that.”
“I feel like there is.” She sobbed quietly. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I kind of just want to disappear.”
“I understand. It sucks. This sucks. I wish this didn’t happen to you. I just want to validate that, that this sucks, a lot.” He paused, giving her time to cry a bit more before he continued. “But this won’t last forever, I promise you. Think about it: one day you’ll be able to move somewhere else, somewhere with lots of other trans people. You’ll be able to transition to your liking: wear the clothes you enjoy, go on hormones if that’s something you want, make friends who call you Rosa and she/her without a problem, and celebrate all those transition steps with you. They’ll squeeze your hand and squeal for you and take you out to some nice restaurant to cheer for you. Right now, the world feels like it’s crashing down. I get that. But the world is also very nice. There are parts of the world you can go to where you can — no, will — be happy. You will be happy, Rosa.”
She could not think of a response. She just cried more, and Matthew talked her down. Once they were done, she thought again of Tristan’s text. She almost opened her messaging app to read it again, but she decided against it, and just laid on her bed, listening to her favorite songs, calming music from video games she’d played years ago, to calm down. She may still be stuck in this small town for now, and Tristan may have turned his back on her. She still had a few good cries left about it all. But Matthew was right. Things would get better, and that was worth sticking it out for.
Written by Adrian Wood
Narration by Harrison Vaughan
Want to try the skills Rosa used?
What to Expect when You Call a Hotline
Teen talking about a similar experience
Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or contact the Trevor Project, a crisis hotline specifically for LGBTQ youth, by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting START to 678-678.